What Defines Beauty?

Beauty is subjective, and everyone has their own interpretation of what is attractive. These opinions, however, hold no real weight. They aren’t inherently right or wrong; they are simply opinions. The most important perspective is your own. How you view yourself is what truly matters. If you feel beautiful, then that is your truth, irrespective of what others think. And if you don’t feel beautiful, you have the power to change that on your own terms.

Why Do We Care About Others’ Opinions?

When someone opts for cosmetic enhancements, it doesn’t impact anyone else’s life. So, why do some people feel the need to judge? It’s astonishing how quickly some individuals condemn others for choices they disagree with. I may not agree with someone appearing disheveled, but it doesn’t concern me at all. What matters most to me is my appearance.

Physical appearance is closely linked to what you attract in life. When you feel beautiful, you exude confidence, and both of these emotions resonate at a high frequency. This means that beauty and confidence can attract similar positive energies, such as success, love, and abundance.

Conversely, feeling unattractive or insecure can make you self-conscious and unconfident, drawing in negative experiences. During my own struggles with obesity, I felt as bad as I looked and was deeply ashamed of my appearance. It became a source of dread when I had to venture into public spaces, fearing judgment about my weight. In just two years, I went from a size 6 to a size 16, and the embarrassment was overwhelming.

Let me clarify: if you are overweight, you don’t need anyone to tell you. You are acutely aware of it. During that difficult period, my life was filled with toxicity, and my quality of life suffered immensely.

Numerous studies have established a connection between attractiveness and overall happiness. Researchers have long noted that beauty contributes significantly to a fulfilling life (Hamermesh, D. & Abrevaya, J., European Economic Review). If beautiful architecture can enhance happiness, what’s wrong with seeking beauty in ourselves?

Consider this: has anyone ever criticized the Cathedral of Santa Maria del Fiore for its beauty? Likely not.

Take Control of Your Beauty Journey

Dolly Parton once said that if you have the courage and resources to do something that boosts your self-esteem, you should absolutely pursue it. I have encountered many women who wish to undergo cosmetic procedures but hesitate due to fear of judgment from others. This mindset is akin to imprisonment. At the end of the day, haters are merely vocal; they don’t truly care about your choices. They often forget their remarks shortly after making them.

Avoid those who habitually criticize others, as they will likely do the same to you when you’re not around.

Be Proudly Unapologetic About Your Choices

I transformed from a people-pleaser into a bold, unapologetically self-loving woman over many years. I began getting Botox at 32, and now at 46, I continue to enhance my beauty with fillers, chemical peels, and other treatments. While it requires a significant investment of time and money, I prioritize ensuring that my outer self reflects my inner vitality.

Aging gracefully is commendable, but I refuse to do so without putting in effort. Yes, I have also undergone plastic surgery. While it was a challenging experience, it was far less painful than enduring the physical discomfort I faced for many years.

Have you ever heard someone remark, “She’s had too much done to her face”? I recognize that some may overdo their enhancements, but it’s essential to understand that those who embrace such changes are dedicated to looking their best. Just because someone doesn’t appreciate that aesthetic doesn’t imply that the person undergoing these changes is unhappy.

When I see someone who has clearly invested in their appearance, my thoughts are, “She’s committed and has gone through a lot to look good.” Even if I don’t personally prefer that look, I won’t criticize her for her choices.

Why Share My Story?

I share this to motivate you and grant permission to embrace your desire for beauty. Our physical appearance plays a significant role in the quality of our lives.

To illustrate, let me tell you about someone I’ve known forever, whom I’ll call Nita. She has battled insecurity and low self-esteem since childhood, primarily due to her nose. Bullying followed her throughout her school years, and it didn’t stop even after graduation. To cope, she became a people-pleaser, seeking validation through her relationships.

While not all women who are sexually active lack self-esteem, Nita’s case was different; she repeatedly sought validation from superficial encounters. Ultimately, her self-worth suffered immensely. Rhinoplasty could have resolved her issue; it may be painful and costly, but so is living with self-loathing.

Thank you for investing your time in my words. I encourage you to explore more at paulaswope.com.