The Frustration with "Sober"

Living an alcohol-free life is certainly more than just the term “sober.”

To illustrate, I’ve always preferred words to numbers. The idea of measuring my existence by numerical values has consistently left me feeling frustrated. I attempted various creative alternatives, like using colorful stickers on a calendar to symbolize my progress. I even imagined a whimsical counting system where I would measure my sobriety in “fluffy bunnies” and “magical unicorns.” For instance, I might say, “I’ve been alcohol-free for 2 fluffy bunnies and 23 unicorns,” representing two months and 23 days.

However, the fundamental problem remains: it’s still a form of counting, and I would ultimately have to clarify what those whimsical terms meant, which defeats the purpose of avoiding numbers entirely.

At one point, I managed to stay sober for 120 days, which was my longest stretch at that time. I felt incredibly proud of my achievement. But then, my inner critic—whom I refer to as "Satan"—whispered doubts into my ear. He reminded me of my disdain for counting and how I was tying my self-worth to a number. Consequently, I decided to stop counting, believing I was strong enough to handle it. Unfortunately, this led me back to drinking.

Your inner critic can be a deceptive adversary!

So, do I think you should keep track of your sober days? Absolutely!

Do You Have to Count Indefinitely?

In the early days of my latest sobriety journey, I was meticulous about counting every single day. During my previous 120-day stretch, I kept track multiple times a day. Each moment felt like a victory, and I held onto that number as if it were my lifeline.

This time around, my perspective has shifted dramatically. I genuinely believe that I have been healed from my addiction. The reason I feel this way is simple: I no longer obsess about drinking. It used to dominate my thoughts, but now it’s a non-issue.

Currently, I don’t track my sober days daily. However, I have a rough idea of where I stand, and I have noted my start date. Occasionally, I check in to remind myself how many days I’ve been alcohol-free, and I celebrate those milestones.

While I might still reference my sober days, my focus is on the future—envisioning all the days ahead without hangovers and feeling present for my family.

But yes, I will always keep track. I often ask Google, “How many days since March 20, 2022?” to acknowledge my progress. Each day without alcohol is a victory worth celebrating.

Should You Count? A Recap

The answer is yes; you should count in a way that resonates with you. This may require some experimentation to determine what works best. Each person’s journey is unique, but we are all striving towards the same goal.

If you find daily reminders helpful, then display your sober days prominently on your calendar and celebrate every time you log a victory. If each day feels like a battle, then those numbers will be crucial!

I cannot count the times I’ve written my sober days on a calendar, and it has proven to be beneficial. While my current experience feels different, I still cherish the ability to say I’ve been alcohol-free for 100 days, 234 days, or even four years and 67 days. These numbers represent significant victories that deserve recognition.

If you’re still counting the hours until bedtime to stay away from alcohol just one more day, then by all means, COUNT! Keep track of every small victory.

As a life coach, I assist individuals in discovering passion and purpose at every life stage. If you’re pondering “What’s Next,” feel free to reach out to me at [email protected] or visit sarahsandidge.com for more information about my one-on-one coaching and the “What’s Next” Workshop.

XO, Sarah

Section 1.1: The Importance of Personalizing Your Journey

Section 1.2: Understanding Your Inner Critic