Chapter 1: Understanding Stagnation

Are you feeling like you're just going in circles? You’re definitely not the only one.

Meeting deadlines at work, school, or other commitments might not be an issue for you. Those deadlines are often arbitrary, and with a little push, you can tackle them effortlessly. However, what about the deadlines you set for yourself? The ambitious targets you aim for? Just thinking about them can make me feel frustrated and drained.

Some days are more productive than others. I’m sure you can relate. One minute, you're fired up, ready to dive into that next big project or make a significant life change. The next, you're stuck in a cycle of eating snacks and binge-watching Netflix, convincing yourself, "I’ll start tomorrow."

You may take the initiative to pursue a goal, like shedding ten pounds or committing to daily journaling. But before long—sometimes within just a week or two—you find yourself giving up for various reasons.

We often tell ourselves little white lies to ease the disappointment:

• That book you intended to write? Not as essential as doing laundry.
• That workout you wanted to fit in? You're too tired, and surely you deserve a break.

This doesn’t imply that you lack the ability to finish projects, meet deadlines, or achieve your ambitions. Yet, for many of us, external motivation often outweighs internal drives.

I've often heard that lacking intrinsic motivation indicates something is wrong with me. The narrative goes that I should inherently want to improve and reach my goals, right? But as I reflect on my life, I realize that I genuinely desire these things, just as you likely do.

But what exactly are these aspirations?

First, stop being hard on yourself. If you’re anything like me, you already feel guilty for not achieving your targets.

Second, understand this: a deficiency in intrinsic motivation does NOT equate to a personal flaw.

Chapter 2: The Impact of Early Influences

I remember my childhood as mostly joyful. I grew up in a stable home with both parents and friends, but we faced financial hardships. My mother, a teenage parent, frequently pressured me to "succeed" in life.

Fortunately, I excelled in school and sports, which made her constant urging manageable. However, this pressure left me with an unclear sense of self-worth. Despite her good intentions, her remarks became internalized voices that discouraged creative pursuits.

Photography? She scoffed.

Choreography? A laugh.

Acting? A dismissive chuckle.

Though I’ve forgiven her, those experiences stifled my intrinsic motivation because I struggled to identify what I truly wanted. How can you be driven when every time you set a goal, that inner voice tells you it’s not worthy of your time?

While this might not resonate with everyone, many who face similar challenges can likely relate.

So, what’s the next step?

We must take the time to rediscover ourselves. Grant yourself the liberty to enjoy life and explore new avenues. It might mean silencing that inner critic, which is often easier said than done. At times, it may require distancing yourself from certain individuals or even leaving familiar surroundings.

I’m not planning any radical shifts just yet, but I'm learning to embrace my true self and allowing myself the freedom to evolve into who I am meant to be.

In this video, we explore the feelings of being stuck and how to recognize when you're just spinning your wheels. It provides valuable insights into overcoming this common struggle.

This official audio track, "Blood, Sweat & Tears - Spinning Wheel," encapsulates the emotions tied to feeling stagnant while motivating listeners to keep pushing forward.