Why Holding On Can Be Challenging

Many people find it hard to release not just past experiences, possessions, or the past itself, but also relationships. There’s often a fear that letting go equates to disloyalty or inadequacy as friends, leading to the belief that survival is impossible without that individual.

Consider this: Have you ever thought about whether you’ve grown and no longer feel the need to invest time in a particular person, be it a loved one or a friend? Why cling to a relationship that no longer serves you?

Relationships are akin to clothing; some you simply outgrow. No matter how hard you try, they no longer fit.

When someone departs, it can be a sign of progress. While one person may be evolving, the other could be stagnating, presenting another angle to the situation. Change is a constant, regardless of the scenario.

Many struggle to accept change. The unfamiliar often evokes fear, with thoughts like, “Why alter something that seems fine as is?” Even if it’s not functioning optimally, the discomfort of change feels daunting. This mindset is common among adults but isn’t conducive to growth.

I genuinely care for others and wish to maintain friendships, but that’s not always possible.

Many of us have moved on from detrimental habits. For instance, I used to indulge in gossip, a tendency shaped by my family’s discussions about others. Eventually, I recognized it was neither productive nor fulfilling. I firmly believe in the power of energy; what you discuss, you attract.

When I decided to steer clear of gossip and engage in uplifting conversations, I noticed that some friends had little else to talk about. Our discussions inevitably circled back to gossip, leading me to naturally distance myself from them.

I appreciate our differences; I thrive on discussions about business and ideas, while some find such topics dull. It’s about connecting with those who share your passions.

Thus, when you evolve beyond a relationship or situation, letting go isn’t a negative act. It signifies that you’ve simply outgrown that connection, and there’s no blame to assign.

Understanding Validation and Its Impact on Relationships

What exactly is validation? It often stems from low self-esteem or a need for external approval. Individuals who require constant validation from their partners may interpret delayed responses as rejection. If a relationship ends, they may struggle to let go because they equate their partner’s departure with personal inadequacy.

The key is to seek love instead of validation. Those who focus on love recognize that they deserve better and can move on, even if it involves temporary sadness. In contrast, individuals fixated on validation may cling to their partner, interpreting their exit as a confirmation of their worthlessness. This misguided need for validation can lead to numerous failed relationships, as they subconsciously invite rejection, only to feel bored once they receive the validation they crave.

I’ve shifted my perspective to view relationship failures as signs of progress toward finding my ideal partner. Each ending teaches me something vital, and I hope the next relationship will be a better fit. Being decisive and setting boundaries can expedite the process, rather than prolonging the inevitable. This principle applies to friendships as well.

Psychological insights suggest we often seek multiple relationships, influenced by our connections with our parents. We might gravitate towards partners resembling our mother or father. Ultimately, healing leads us to pursue a relationship with our true selves.

Cultivating Happiness Through Letting Go

Whatever is meant to be in your life will find a way to manifest. As I mentioned in my previous article, it’s crucial to trust the natural flow of life—an idea referred to as Wu Wei.

When we let go, we create space for new opportunities. The Universe knows what is beneficial for us, but if we resist, we may find ourselves stuck in a cycle of lessons.

All connections should feel organic. If you’re forcing a relationship, you must ask yourself why. If it’s truly meant for you, shouldn’t it unfold naturally?

When you feel at peace and your spirit is at ease, you are where you belong, surrounded by the right people and engaging in meaningful activities.

With Love,

-Enigma

The first video titled "Why Do People Leave You?" explores the underlying reasons behind relationship endings and how to find closure.

The second video, "The DEEPER reason some people don't want to leave a narcissistic relationship," delves into the complexities of emotional attachments and the struggles of breaking free from toxic dynamics.