Chapter 1: The Illusion of Toxic Masculinity

It's true that, at times, men fail to see beyond their own perspectives. The concept of "Dirty Men and The Fairer Sex" leads to a stark reality: gentlemen, you are not inherently bad; you are merely acting out of ignorance.

Let me share an anecdote:

"Four doors for more whores"—just typing that phrase sends a shiver down my spine. This, my intellectually inclined friends, is a bumper sticker I spotted on a red truck the other day. (Seriously, who profits from creating such nonsense?)

Initially, I assumed this truck belonged to a younger male—perhaps a country enthusiast or an obnoxious college student. But I was mistaken!

Riding a motorcycle has its perks. Sure, many people despise the perceived recklessness of bikers. Yet, until you’ve experienced it, you can’t grasp the thrill of navigating through traffic on two wheels. Anyway…

As I zipped past a driver on a bustling street just before a red light, I positioned myself to casually yawn and stretch, allowing me to sneak a glance at him.

Yes, it was a bearded man, likely in his early 40s, wearing a flat-brimmed cap, his eyes vacant and staring into the void. He bore the classic expression of someone worn down by life, a sight that is all too common.

It genuinely pains me to observe such individuals, stuck in traffic with defeated expressions, yearning to escape to a more relaxing place, like the Bahamas.

I used to be just like him, and it’s disheartening to witness others in the same situation.

So…

I advocate for myself and fellow men. Not because every man is virtuous, but because every man is human.

Men are not inherently evil. They are not adversaries. Surprisingly, the majority of men do not fit the crude and simplistic stereotypes perpetuated by extreme feminists and overly chivalrous men. To label any group of people so simplistically is both unjust and arrogant.

However, that bumper sticker is absurd…

The way we present ourselves doesn’t always reflect our true nature, but when we choose to express something explicitly, it can convey a clear message about our character.

I understand that young boys and men often lack self-control and are easily swayed by the thrill of provocative behavior and the reactions it evokes.

At 14, I was captivated by women’s bodies. I still am…

But as we mature, we learn and grow.

For reasons unknown, boys seem to revel in eliciting shock and disgust from others due to their immaturity. Perhaps it’s a misguided attempt at humor or a way to express indifference to societal norms.

Is it necessary to act like animals? Maybe being wild and unruly is a misguided way to seek control in a chaotic world.

Yet, as we grow older—if we grow older—our expressions should ideally become more empathetic and thoughtful.

We, as men, should strive for a sense of class and gentlemanly conduct. Even if we remain somewhat raw, we must cultivate respect for humanity and maturity that radiates charm rather than contempt.

To be fair, this is probably just another man who lacked a father figure to guide him or was raised by a father who mirrored the same immaturity and insensitivity.

Often, I believe that such behaviors stem from pain masked as pride and carelessness. Many men go through life fulfilling basic responsibilities while battling inner turmoil that keeps them emotionally stunted.

They navigate the world like uncontrolled impulses, seeking recognition and respect that they haven’t earned.

It takes immense strength and honest self-reflection to address these issues, especially without a father figure to challenge one’s behavior externally.

To the man with the sticker on his truck:

Women are not mere objects, and deep down, you understand that.

The anger and disdain you feel are likely reflections of your own self-loathing.

You deserve better—more from yourself and, in time, more from others.

Instead of seeking validation through derogatory remarks, surround yourself with individuals who genuinely care about you. Seek relationships that challenge you, encourage honesty, and recognize your worth.

And for goodness' sake, remove that sticker from your truck. It serves no purpose.

Truth and love to my Medium community.

If you resonate with my musings and inquiries, you might also enjoy the discussions on my podcast, The Rebel Minded Podcast. You can find it linked below on Substack, or on Spotify, Apple, and Google Podcasts.

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Remember, always question everything!

The first video, "The Fairer Sex?" delves into the dynamics between genders and challenges societal norms surrounding masculinity and femininity.

The second video, "WORST DIRTY TALK | CROWD WORK SHOW w/ MATT RIFE (Haunted Homies #33)" explores the nuances of communication, humor, and the societal expectations of men in public spaces.