Chapter 1: Rediscovering Normality

In the early 2010s, a quirky YouTube sensation named "Marcel the Shell" captured the hearts of many, particularly among Millennials and now some Gen Z viewers. This charming video features a tiny seashell with a googly eye and little shoes, as it shares amusing anecdotes about its miniature life within a household.

Despite its odd premise, the video possesses an undeniable charm and wit that keeps viewers engaged, leading them to ponder the creativity behind it. During his home tour, Marcel makes a cheeky remark about how some observers claim his head is disproportionately large for his body, to which he retorts, “Compared to what?” (Check out this moment at 2:42 in the video.)

As I reflected on the myriad descriptive terms we employ daily to interpret our surroundings, Marcel’s clever inquiry resonated with me.

Section 1.1: The Nature of Adjectives

For those who might have tuned out during grammar classes, I'm referring to adjectives—words that help define and describe.

When we navigate our environment, we often mentally narrate our observations: “That’s a spacious house,” “Wow, that car looks rough,” “What a charming shop,” or, more commonly, “Ugh, gas prices are sky-high.”

Photo by Samuel Foster on Unsplash

Or perhaps while zoning out during a conversation, our thoughts drift to, “I have so much on my plate today,” “Her hairstyle seems unusual,” or “It’s freezing in here.”

All these highlighted phrases contain adjectives (though “so” technically functions as an adverb, it serves a similar role here). We rely on these descriptive words to assess our surroundings continually. While this may seem harmless at times, it can also have deeper implications. Marcel's humorous response invites us to reconsider the judgments we form: “Compared to what?”

Subsection 1.1.1: The Implications of Comparison

The humor in this response stems from a fundamental truth: to evaluate something, we must have a reference point. When someone claims Marcel's head is "too big," they’re making a comparison without a valid standard. How many talking seashells have they encountered to justify this opinion?

This seemingly innocuous moment from a decade-old video raises a thought-provoking question. Every evaluation we make is rooted in a framework of norms and averages that we’ve internalized over time.

Photo by Brigitta Schneiter on Unsplash

When we remark, “Her hair seems strange,” we’re comparing it to what we typically see. When we express, “I have a lot to do today,” we’re measuring today’s tasks against our usual workload. When we say, “That car looks wrecked,” we’re evaluating it against our mental image of a "normal" vehicle.

Recognizing that our evaluations stem from a mental repository of what we consider normal challenges not only those evaluations but also the very frameworks we use to define normalcy.

Chapter 2: The Fluidity of Norms

Video 1: 4 Incredibly Powerful Questions To Ask Yourself Every Day

This video invites viewers to reflect on profound questions that can reshape their understanding of normality and self-worth.

Video 2: Ask Yourself This 1 Question (I'll Explain Why...)

A thought-provoking exploration of how a single question can transform your perspective and challenge societal norms.

Our individual definitions of “normal” are often self-constructed, shaped by our experiences and perceptions. What one person views as a “big” house may be seen as a starter home by another. What seems like a “damaged” car to one individual might represent typical wear and tear to someone raised in a different environment.

Beyond superficial observations, when we judge how others live, we might think, “That’s so odd,” “That’s incorrect,” or “That’s disgusting.” We can challenge ourselves by asking, “Compared to what?”

Harry Styles | VOGUE

For instance, observing a biological male in a dress or wearing makeup may seem “weird” based on our established norms for gender presentation. Yet, societal definitions of normalcy have shifted dramatically over time, just as men’s fashion has evolved.

Similarly, we deem political views as “wrong” only when we have a standard of “right” to reference. These standards are equally fluid and based on personal experiences.

Realizing that our definitions of "normal" and "right" are subjective can be unsettling. It forces us to confront deeply ingrained beliefs tied to our identities, including our backgrounds, family teachings, and longstanding opinions.