# A Morning Transformation: From Whiny to Wonderful
Written on
Morning Madness
This morning, my kids rose much earlier than expected. I was barely aware of the time when my husband got out of bed to manage their chaotic race to the pantry. It was just moments later that my two-year-old son bounced into my room, climbing onto the bed and requesting his favorite “Cha-Milk” (a.k.a. chocolate milk). I couldn’t help but wonder why he was asking the still-slumbering parent instead of the one who was already awake.
According to my slightly annoyed husband, the kids had been up since 5:30 AM. So, by the time I finally joined them at 6:26, they were in dire need of a nap—grumpy, whiny, and overly sensitive to each other's every move. My peaceful morning was quickly spiraling into chaos.
As I began to comb Avery’s hair, I was met with a tangled mess. This meant a battle was about to ensue, as she always tenses up and begins to whine with each tug, letting out a cry of “OW!” at every resistance. Each time I worked on her hair, I couldn’t help but recall my own experiences of my mother angrily yanking my hair into two braids. As I struggled with Avery’s tangles, I felt the urge to brush harder, to turn her head with the same sharp impatience I had faced as a child. Thankfully, the only tears were due to her exhaustion rather than the hairbrush. I knew it was going to be a long day for her if she was already so tired.
A Sweet Solution
Recognizing that my sleepy girl needed a boost, I decided to swing by Starbucks on our way to school.
The visit wasn’t elaborate; we didn’t have the luxury of time to linger. In fact, the drive-through was so crowded that it took longer than expected to get our two tall drinks. While waiting, Avery enjoyed a cake pop and settled into a comfy leather chair for her pink drink.
To her, it was a special treat.
What could have easily devolved into a morning full of shouting and tears turned into a delightful experience for her. As the van door swung open and her teacher leaned in to greet her, she exclaimed, “I got to stop for a pink drink!” Her face lit up with joy, and in her excitement, she dashed off without even saying goodbye, immediately seeking out a friend.
Reflecting on My Own Childhood
Mornings before school were often my least favorite time as a child. More often than not, I left home feeling terrible, as if I had upset my mom somehow. I hated the unresolved arguments that loomed over me. It felt familiar, whether I was boarding the bus for first grade or driving myself to high school. Young children often struggle to articulate their feelings.
Even as adults, expecting perfect moods and behavior daily is unrealistic. Some days we wake up tired, rushed because our alarms failed us, or simply wish we could skip responsibilities. My daughter has her moments too; there are times when she drags her feet to the dresser, exclaiming, “Ugh. I just don’t want to go to school today.” Trust me, I understand.
As a child, I experienced countless days like that. I often felt misunderstood and believed I was the source of the problems, when in fact, I was grappling with issues I didn’t know how to express. Looking into my daughter’s big hazel eyes, I see a reflection of my younger self. Her unique traits, her vibrant personality, and her sharp intellect remind me of who I was. It’s challenging not to see that younger version of myself asking if I remember what it was like to be her age.
Empathy and Understanding
I do remember. I want to provide a better experience for her.
Who will advocate for the little girl who’s tired but doesn’t know how to express it? Who will gently suggest that she simply needs a hug and some understanding this morning? My own memories guide me. As I handle the grumpy child who woke too early, I think of the little girl with braided hair who held back tears on the way to school. I say the words I know she longed to hear, “I’m sorry you’re tired. I have an idea that will cheer you up. Let’s get your shoes on!”
And together, we head to Starbucks.