Chapter 1: The Framework of Christian Intimacy

This article continues a series aimed at exploring how the anti-sexual and misogynistic ideologies that emerged during the early Christian Middle Ages still shape sexual norms in today's so-called "Christian world." The previous installment examined the asexuality inherent in the doctrine of the imperial church, particularly through the portrayal of God the Father and the concept of virgin birth.

In this section, I will summarize the church's perspective on what constitutes the ideal intimate life for Christian couples.

Let’s begin with a surprising assertion: the ideal intimate life for Christian spouses is one devoid of sexual relations. Ideally, couples should engage in a purely platonic love, living in purity and holiness—akin to angels or saints. However, such a notion is impractical, almost "suicidal." If all Christians adhered to this, the population would dwindle in a mere 50 years. After all, if every Christian were to become saintly, how would Christian women conceive? Would it be through the Holy Spirit, like the Virgin Mary? This idea borders on heresy, as it suggests that women could not conceive in any other way.

Interestingly, this dilemma wasn't immediately recognized by Christians. For a time, there was a collective expectation of an imminent apocalypse, leading to little concern for the propagation of the faith. However, as the anticipated End of Days was postponed indefinitely—perhaps for decades, centuries, or even over a millennium—the necessity for new Christians and, consequently, for sexual relations, resurfaced as a pressing issue.

Although the church condemned conception as sinful, it had to compromise, recognizing the need for procreation. The authorities required subjects, soldiers, and tithes. Had the technology existed in the Middle Ages, I suspect the church would have endorsed artificial reproduction methods, or even cloning, to fulfill these needs. Today, the potential for mass virgin conceptions could exist, given advancements in reproductive technology.

This need for reproduction led clergy to permit sexual relations within extremely narrow confines. Primarily, intimacy was restricted to marriage, with premarital intimacy strictly prohibited. Virginity became the paramount virtue for women, symbolized by the hymen—a concept that led to the ruin of many women’s lives. Despite some encouragement for male virginity, practical issues arose surrounding erections and sexual intercourse, resulting in little scrutiny of male behavior. The focus was instead on preventing masturbation, often regarded as sinful and shameful.

Moreover, the church condemned same-sex marriages and any homosexual relations, using the biblical accounts of Sodom and Gomorrah as cautionary tales. Yet, the church's scrutiny extended to various forms of sexual expression, including masturbation and any non-vaginal sexual acts.

The church also limited marital intimacy to intercourse intended solely for procreation. Sexual pleasure was deemed sinful, leading to a conflation of sex and reproduction that persists today. Only the most basic acts were sanctioned, with male sexual arousal recognized as an unavoidable "evil." A husband’s role was to initiate intercourse, while a wife's duty was to acquiesce without experiencing arousal, which was seen as sinful.

For the church, a sexually responsive woman was often labeled a temptress or even a witch. This stigma against female pleasure can be traced back to the metaphor of the “Whore of Babylon,” illustrating the deep-rooted belief that women should not experience orgasms.

Consequently, female masturbation was harshly condemned, and any sexual exploration by women was met with severe punishment. Foreplay was only recognized as a means to arouse men, leaving no room for female satisfaction. As a result, men often prioritized their own pleasure, disregarding their wives’ needs.

In this patriarchal context, priests, all male, wielded significant power, perpetuating a misogynistic ideology that viewed women as embodiments of temptatio