Chapter 1: The Catalyst for Change

In a dimly lit basement office devoid of windows, I found myself at the receiving end of an enraged outburst from a senior child welfare professional. She was incensed over what she believed to be two computer monitors at my workspace—monitors she claimed were unauthorized. Despite my attempts to clarify that one was a laptop, her anger only intensified. This incident occurred about seven years ago and solidified my decision to leave that job, even though I was still uncertain about my future career path.

My moment of realization came well before the pandemic and echoed the sentiments of many who now hesitate to return to the office. The core issue is that numerous workplaces force us into a constant state of survival. The anxiety of unexpected confrontations, perpetual crises, and the fear of inadequacy lead to sustained high stress levels. This state of being is detrimental not only to our mental health but also to our overall well-being.

Survival mode, often described as the fight-or-flight response, triggers reactions in our bodies that disrupt normal functioning. This leads to significant repercussions for both the workforce and individuals. Ironically, while in survival mode, our bodies compromise crucial systems that maintain health, like digestion and circulation. Remaining in this state can result in severe long-term health issues. Furthermore, it hampers our cognitive abilities, limiting our focus solely to immediate survival rather than fostering long-term solutions or improvements.

I remained in that job longer than I intended, but I was resolute in my goal: to seek an environment that genuinely supported my well-being—a place where I could feel safe and enjoy life without the constant pressure of survival. I firmly believe that we should not have to endure daily sacrifices for the sake of a paycheck. We deserve fulfilling jobs that do not harm us, even if they are not our dream positions. This may seem like a modest aspiration, yet it appears to be a far-fetched dream in today’s context.

This sentiment has been a driving force behind the Great Resignation. As people find opportunities to reclaim their space, many are striving to hold onto it. We’re witnessing companies struggle to coax employees back into the workplace, often resorting to incentives like snacks and perks. Yet, what these organizations fail to recognize is that it’s not about the snacks; it’s about fostering an environment where mental, physical, and emotional health are prioritized.

The job I initially described lacked any perks—employees even had to bring their own water and coffee. While I could manage without those benefits, the underlying issue was the toxic atmosphere of survival mode. I sat at my desk, ever aware that an outburst could occur at any moment. Despite my training as a psychologist, I had only a limited understanding of trauma’s impact. However, I was acutely aware that living under persistent toxic stress was neither healthy nor sustainable.

I share this narrative to reach those who feel trapped in their current employment.

Here’s the reality: when faced with a challenging situation, you have three choices:

1. Become angry or upset and take no further action.
2. Accept the circumstances and convince yourself to be okay with them, acknowledging that everything is temporary.
3. Take proactive steps. While immediate action may not be feasible, it’s crucial to plan for change.

Though I did not leave that position right away, I knew it was time to start preparing for a transition. I began exploring various opportunities, applying for different jobs, and even started writing a book.

One day, I reached out to my co-author, who shared my views on the dysfunction of our workplace. I texted him with a simple idea: “We should document all of this in a book.” This may seem trivial, yet it filled me with trepidation. I had long aspired to be a writer but had never clearly articulated my intention to write a book. The fear of rejection loomed large as I awaited his response. To my relief, he enthusiastically agreed, and our first book was published a year and a half later.

That small action—a single text—transformed my life because I dared to take a leap I would typically shy away from, driven by the need for change.

This isn’t to imply that every time you reach out, something extraordinary will happen. I’ve had my share of efforts that bore no fruit. The key is persistence. You must continually put yourself out there, explore various avenues, and discover what you truly want.

Two essential lessons emerged from my experience to help you alter your situation:

1. Take action. This doesn’t require a drastic move; it can be as simple as starting a job search, marketing your skills, networking, or refreshing your resume. The important thing is to begin laying the groundwork.
2. Yes, take action again. This isn’t a mistake; it’s a reiteration. Taking action is the only way to effect change. You cannot rely on others to recognize your potential; you must cultivate it yourself.

You don’t need to change the world—just your own circumstances. In doing so, your positive influence will naturally extend to others. It’s easy to feel stuck and helpless, but it’s vital to assess whether your current situation serves your well-being. If it doesn’t, there’s no reason to remain entrenched in it. While changing your circumstances may not be straightforward and could take longer than anticipated, doing nothing guarantees that nothing will change.

Please excuse any typos as I write these articles late at night, often with a tiny dog curled up on my lap. These stories reflect my personal experiences, and I do not represent any organization. For more insights, check out my books, "Culture of Caring: Healing and Helping in Traumatizing Times" and "Anna, Age Eight: The Data-Driven Prevention of Childhood Trauma and Maltreatment." If you’re interested in life-coaching services, feel free to reach out at [email protected].

Chapter 2: Finding Your Path to Wellness

This chapter will delve deeper into actionable steps for achieving workplace wellness and personal fulfillment.